The Art of Mansplaining: A guide

1. What is ‘mansplaining’?

Definition: When a man explains something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate way, typically about a subject she already understands, most likely better than he does.

It’s not just a man explaining something. It’s the specific mix of confidence and cluelessness that defines the act.

The key elements are the unwarranted assumption of ignorance in the woman and an unearned confidence in the man's own knowledge.

Scenario: A new mother is having a coffee with her work colleague. The colleague (a man) who has only ever heard/read/watched about breastfeeding, proceeds to explain to her how to effectively breastfeed her newborn baby.

What mansplaining is NOT

It's important to distinguish mansplaining from simply being a know-it-all or having a detailed conversation.

• It is not a man explaining something he is legitimately an expert in when asked.
• It is not a passionate, mutual exchange of ideas between peers.

2. Key ingredients of mansplaining

To qualify as mansplaining, it usually contains a few of these key points:

• Unshakeable confidence: The explainer is 100% certain of his expertise, regardless of his actual knowledge. The Dunning-Kruger effect is in full force.
• A disregard for qualifications: He will explain a woman's own area of expertise to her, ignoring the fact that she has a degree in the subject or does this for a job.
• The "Well, actually...": This is the classic verbal cue. It’s used to correct a minor or irrelevant point, shifting the focus to his "superior" knowledge.
• Patronising tone: It’s the voice you might use to explain to a child why the sky is blue.
• A straw man: He might misrepresent her original point to make it easier to knock down. "So what you're saying is..." (proceeds to explain something she didn't say).

3. How to identify it: ask yourself these questions…

• Is a man explaining something? Start to wonder.
• Is he explaining it to a woman? Don’t overreact just yet.
• Is he an acknowledged expert on this specific topic? If yes, probably just a normal conversation. If not, be aware!
• Is she an expert/knowledgeable on the topic? If yes, high probability of incoming mansplaining.
• Is his tone condescending, overconfident, and ignoring your attempts to contribute? Mansplaining!

4. A field guide to common species of mansplaining

• The "Well, actually...": Corrects minor, inconsequential details to establish dominance in a conversation.
• The “Listen, babe!”: Proceeds to rant on a non-related subject. Has no interest in conversing with you, just wants to be noticed/centre of attention. Completely dismissive.
• The "Let me explain your own job to you": Common in workplaces. A male colleague explains the basics of a female colleague's profession to her.
• The "I saw a YouTube video": Has surface-level knowledge from a podcast or video and believes this makes him an authority over a woman's lived experience or deep study.

5. How to respond

If you're on the receiving end, you may have the following options:

• The polite exit: "Thanks, I'm familiar with that." Then change the subject. Simple, effective, doesn't waste your energy.
• The qualification approach: "I actually studied this at university, but please, continue." This gently introduces reality into his narrative.
• The direct approach: "I appreciate you trying to help, but you're explaining something I already know quite well." Clear, firm, and sets boundaries.

6. A note for men: how to avoid being a mansplainer

• Listen more, talk less.
• Ask yourself: “Did they actually ask for an explanation, or am I just offering one because I assume they need it?"
• Learn to say, "I don’t know."
• When in doubt, lean towards listening and asking questions.

Most importantly:

• If you catch yourself: Stop immediately. Say, "I'm sorry, I just realised I'm explaining this to you like you don't know it, and you probably do. Please ignore me."

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out, I am more than happy to Mansplain to you either in person or via email.

Article by Tom Styles.