Be There for Others – Without Losing Yourself

I’ve been fortunate to have some excellent female mentors in my life, both through work and on a personal level, but the most powerful piece of advice a female mentor gave me, came at a time where I was completely overwhelmed with life.

I was being pulled in every direction - work, family and health concerns. I had an incredible sense that I was letting everyone down by not being strong enough.

She listened quietly as I talked, allowing me to vent my frustrations, guilt and exhaustion, (I was pretty certain she regretted asking “How are you?”) then she said something that has stayed with me ever since:

“Be there for others but never leave yourself behind.”

That really hit me. As an HR Manager, a lot of my role is about showing up for people: supporting them through challenges, navigating difficult conversations, and holding confidences that lighten peoples loads but often stay with me.

I’m proud of how I manage this with empathy, steadiness and presence, but she reminded me that presence loses its strength if I abandon myself in the process.

This also applies as a mother, wife and friend.

Her words made me rethink the way I understood my own value. She taught me that instead of trying to be endlessly available, it’s ok to set boundaries that strengthen the support I can offer, and I realised that stepping back is sometimes the most responsible thing I can do.

Her advice returns to me every day in the moments where I’m stretched thin or second‑guessing myself. It reminds me I can be there for others without losing sight of myself and that looking after me is a huge part of looking after them.

By Lorraine De Carteret